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1.

A vibrating cock ring that’ll be a super quiet third who’s simply *buzzing* at the chance to make you both cum.


amazon.com

This waterproof toy features simple one-button operation, seven speed modes, and is USB rechargeable.

Promising review: “My partner and I use this at least twice a week. It’s a great cock ring. The vibe is powerful yet quiet, and I love that it’s USB rechargeable so there are no batteries to mess with. It’s waterproof, so cleanup is a breeze. The ring itself can stretch to accommodate what I imagine is a WIDE variety of sizes and shapes. It doesn’t delay the wearer’s orgasm but rather heightens the strength of it, and WOW does my partner love it! The position of the cock ring can be changed depending on the position you’re assuming. Placed up during missionary-type positions will stimulate the clit immensely. Placed down during missionary positions will stimulate the balls and her perineum. In a doggy position, with the cock ring placed down, it will stimulate the clit and balls equally. I highly recommend this as a way to add a little extra excitement.” —Dani

Get it from Amazon for $25.96.


amazon.com

This waterproof toy features simple one-button operation, seven speed modes, and is USB rechargeable.

Promising review: “My partner and I use this at least twice a week. It’s a great cock ring. The vibe is powerful yet quiet, and I love that it’s USB rechargeable so there are no batteries to mess with. It’s waterproof, so cleanup is a breeze. The ring itself can stretch to accommodate what I imagine is a WIDE variety of sizes and shapes. It doesn’t delay the wearer’s orgasm but rather heightens the strength of it, and WOW does my partner love it! The position of the cock ring can be changed depending on the position you’re assuming. Placed up during missionary-type positions will stimulate the clit immensely. Placed down during missionary positions will stimulate the balls and her perineum. In a doggy position, with the cock ring placed down, it will stimulate the clit and balls equally. I highly recommend this as a way to add a little extra excitement.” —Dani

Get it from Amazon for $25.96.

2.

A three-speed Maude vibrator because it lasts 2.5 hours on a single charge sooo…do whatever you’d like with that information. No one will know.

A hand holding a slim, white vibrator with a single button


Maude

This silicone vibrator is water-resistant phthalate- and latex-free, USB rechargeable, and comes with a canvas travel pouch.

Promising review: “This wasn’t my first vibe. Heck, it wasn’t my 10th. We’ve owned many, from the cheap ones to high-end expensive ones. No-name $15 toys up to $180+ Lelos and Hitachis. The Maude is equal or better than the best of them. Soft high-quality silicone. Settings range from gentle to ‘Oh my God!’ This tiny thing puts out 98% of the power of the Hitachi with a 10th of the size and noise. It has the quality and thoughtful design of the Lelos at a fifth of the price. I’d say it’s the best value out there by a mile.” —Karen S.

Get it from Maude for $45 (available in two colors).

3.

The best-selling Satisfier Pro 2 with sexy, suction powers to recreate the pleasures of oral sex without any partner necessary (and many report orgasms in a fraction of the time).


amazon.com

The Satisfier is fully waterproof, USB rechargeable, made from skin-friendly silicone, and has 11 different sucking modes.

Promising review: “YOU GUYS. This thing is NOT messing around. It is quiet, small, and way too powerful for its own good. The magnetic charger is also really cool! It seriously gets the job done fast, if you want it to. It leads to a deeper set orgasm that’s kind of like a full-body one! Definitely happy I bought this. So, so, so happy!” —Katharine

Get it from Amazon for $29.95.

For more on this incredible vibe, check out our Satisfyer 2 deep dive.


amazon.com

The Satisfier is fully waterproof, USB rechargeable, made from skin-friendly silicone, and has 11 different sucking modes.

Promising review: “YOU GUYS. This thing is NOT messing around. It is quiet, small, and way too powerful for its own good. The magnetic charger is also really cool! It seriously gets the job done fast, if you want it to. It leads to a deeper set orgasm that’s kind of like a full-body one! Definitely happy I bought this. So, so, so happy!” —Katharine

Get it from Amazon for $29.95.

For more on this incredible vibe, check out our Satisfyer 2 deep dive.

4.

A hushed vibrating dildo that really…*ahem*…gets in there so you can get off without alerting the whole house.


amazon.com

This toy is made of medical-grade silicone, waterproof, USB rechargeable, and has three vibrating speeds and six vibrating patterns

Promising review: “My girlfriend and I love this toy! It’s extremely powerful and easy to hold. The tail end of it is an unusual shape, but we found that it’s extremely comfortable to rest your finger against and allows both partners to grip the toy easily in a variety of positions. The on/off switch is located in a good position and because you have to hold it down for three seconds to start the toy, you are unlikely to accidentally turn it on. The toy holds its charge really well and can easily be used for extended periods of time without needing to be recharged. It’s quiet enough that it can be used discreetly — nobody can hear it, even if they are in adjoining rooms.” —Griffin93

Get it from Amazon for $19.69.


amazon.com

This toy is made of medical-grade silicone, waterproof, USB rechargeable, and has three vibrating speeds and six vibrating patterns

Promising review: “My girlfriend and I love this toy! It’s extremely powerful and easy to hold. The tail end of it is an unusual shape, but we found that it’s extremely comfortable to rest your finger against and allows both partners to grip the toy easily in a variety of positions. The on/off switch is located in a good position and because you have to hold it down for three seconds to start the toy, you are unlikely to accidentally turn it on. The toy holds its charge really well and can easily be used for extended periods of time without needing to be recharged. It’s quiet enough that it can be used discreetly — nobody can hear it, even if they are in adjoining rooms.” —Griffin93

Get it from Amazon for $19.69.

5.

A Bender vibe for anyone looking for more feel-good ~flexibility~. Bend it this way and that so you can hit just the right spot — internally, externally, or both!


Unbound

It’s waterproof, has 10 speeds, and comes with a universal charging cord so you can charge your other Unbound toys with the same charger.

Promising review: “I never write reviews for products. I’m not very good at it, so I’m attaching a text message I sent to my best friend after using this: ‘I got a new vibrator and HOLY SHIT. First of all it’s tiny. It’s quiet. It has 10 different vibration settings. You can bend it different ways so it hits the G-spot and the clit at the same time. And my dude. I don’t think anyone ever is going to make me as happy as this vibrator made me in literally two minutes. Best fucking purchase of my entire life. If you had a vagina I would buy one for you and ship it to your house so you can understand how fucking amazing this tiny dude is. It was $60, but I just saved myself probably $200 on random dates I won’t go on because this made me not only physically, but emotionally happy. In my 10 years of masturbating I HAVE NEVER felt fulfilled after one orgasm, until now. Dude. I can’t wait to do it again. 1,000/10.'” —Caro

Get it from Unbound for $69 (available in two colors).


Unbound

It’s waterproof, has 10 speeds, and comes with a universal charging cord so you can charge your other Unbound toys with the same charger.

Promising review: “I never write reviews for products. I’m not very good at it, so I’m attaching a text message I sent to my best friend after using this: ‘I got a new vibrator and HOLY SHIT. First of all it’s tiny. It’s quiet. It has 10 different vibration settings. You can bend it different ways so it hits the G-spot and the clit at the same time. And my dude. I don’t think anyone ever is going to make me as happy as this vibrator made me in literally two minutes. Best fucking purchase of my entire life. If you had a vagina I would buy one for you and ship it to your house so you can understand how fucking amazing this tiny dude is. It was $60, but I just saved myself probably $200 on random dates I won’t go on because this made me not only physically, but emotionally happy. In my 10 years of masturbating I HAVE NEVER felt fulfilled after one orgasm, until now. Dude. I can’t wait to do it again. 1,000/10.'” —Caro

Get it from Unbound for $69 (available in two colors).

6.

The beginner-friendly Bellesa & BuzzFeed AirVibe with mind-blowing dual stimulation and a rechargeable case that’ll easily get mistaken for a run-of-the-mill makeup compact.


Bellesa

This dual stimulation vibe has ten vibration settings, five suction intensities, is 100% waterproof, rechargeable, and it’s *flexible*.

Promising review:This is a great first toy. It’s super effective, adorable, and discreet. It’s stronger than I was expecting (but still manageable), easy to figure out, and a pleasure to use. It isn’t silent but also isn’t so loud it would be super noticeable to anyone else. I thought about this for a long time before finally biting the bullet and ordering. After a loooong wait in shipping (thanks Covid) it arrived and has definitely made quarantine a little more interesting and a lot more fun. Definitely recommend!” —Kore

Pre-order it from Bellesa for $59.


Bellesa

This dual stimulation vibe has ten vibration settings, five suction intensities, is 100% waterproof, rechargeable, and it’s *flexible*.

Promising review:This is a great first toy. It’s super effective, adorable, and discreet. It’s stronger than I was expecting (but still manageable), easy to figure out, and a pleasure to use. It isn’t silent but also isn’t so loud it would be super noticeable to anyone else. I thought about this for a long time before finally biting the bullet and ordering. After a loooong wait in shipping (thanks Covid) it arrived and has definitely made quarantine a little more interesting and a lot more fun. Definitely recommend!” —Kore

Pre-order it from Bellesa for $59.

7.

A tongue-shaped Echo vibe that’s incredibly quiet but packs a punch, meaning the only thing between you and a discreet masturbation sesh is you. Can’t blame moaning on the vibrator.

A reviewer photo of a hand holding the compact, purple Echo clitoral vibrator


amazon.com

The vibe is splash-resistant for easy cleaning, rechargeable, and has five vibrating patterns so you can mix it up!

Promising review: “The product is exactly as specified. Totally quiet even with such powerful vibrations. There are different modes that can be changed as needed, and the shape is perfect for different uses. The battery life is superb as it has lasted longer on a single charge. Overall, I’m highly satisfied with the quality of the build and functions. Highly recommend to anyone looking for a vibrator.” —N. C.

Get it from Amazon for $39.99.

8.

The Lelo Mona 2 because a versatile toy that can discreetly get ‘er done whether you’re single or shacked up is good to have around. Partners and roommates come and go, but a reliable orgasm is forever.

A hand holding a red and white elongated, curved vibrator with four buttons


Amazon

The Mona 2 has six different vibration modes, lasts for two hours on a single charge, is fully waterproof, and made with high quality body-safe silicone and ABS plastic, which are both latex- and phthalate-free.

Promising review: “I was immediately impressed with just how it felt in my hand when I opened the box: very sleek and soft. Even though it’s solid, it doesn’t feel hard like other plastic toys. It’s difficult to describe. After immediately charging it, I was stunned with how high the vibration intensities get. It obviously doesn’t get as intense as the Hitachi (which I actually call the jackhammer of vibrators given its intensity), but it was close enough to actually make me orgasm externally. This is huge for me! What a happy medium: it’s strong enough to actually make me orgasm, but my clitoris doesn’t feel like it just took a beating. And if anyone else out there has ever used a Hitachi, the very quiet sound this toy makes a world of difference! Now my neighbors can’t hear me through my thin apartment walls!” —Genevieve Lynn

Get it from Amazon for $135+ (available in three colors) or Lelo for $159 (available in three colors).

9.

A stylish (and very discreet) vibrator necklace for anyone ready to wear their sexual liberation on their sleeve — or neck, rather.


The Grommet

This discreet vibrator is on a 26-inch chain, has four speed settings controlled by a single button, and is USB rechargeable. Keep in mind it’s only designed for external use.

Promising review: “This is definitely my new go-to gift for all my girlfriends!! You would never know (unless you want to tell) and it’s super powerful AND rechargeable!! I was pleasantly surprised!!” —Carla

Get it from The Grommet for $69+ (available in three finishes).


The Grommet

This discreet vibrator is on a 26-inch chain, has four speed settings controlled by a single button, and is USB rechargeable. Keep in mind it’s only designed for external use.

Promising review: “This is definitely my new go-to gift for all my girlfriends!! You would never know (unless you want to tell) and it’s super powerful AND rechargeable!! I was pleasantly surprised!!” —Carla

Get it from The Grommet for $69+ (available in three finishes).

10.

A wearable G spot vibrator with two motors for double the fun and a wireless remote that’ll have you ~losing control~ in more ways than one.


amazon.com

Charge it up with the magnetic USB cable, then use the remote control to choose from nine vibration modes. Plus, it’s waterproof and made of medical-grade silicone.

Promising review: “The vibrator is amazing. It has a vibration that is very strong and with the remote I can control it without getting out of position. The best part is it is very quiet. I was worried at first because it did seem loud, but I left it in my living room and walked to my master (which is not far) and you couldn’t hear a thing! Perfect. The packaging was great and very discrete.” —RogerApril

Get it from Amazon for $27.69.


amazon.com

Charge it up with the magnetic USB cable, then use the remote control to choose from nine vibration modes. Plus, it’s waterproof and made of medical-grade silicone.

Promising review: “The vibrator is amazing. It has a vibration that is very strong and with the remote I can control it without getting out of position. The best part is it is very quiet. I was worried at first because it did seem loud, but I left it in my living room and walked to my master (which is not far) and you couldn’t hear a thing! Perfect. The packaging was great and very discrete.” —RogerApril

Get it from Amazon for $27.69.

11.

A compact micro bullet that’s ~whisper quiet~ and will literally heat things up in the bedroom with the self-warming feature.

The dark blue micro bullet vibrator plugged into the ergonomic control panel with a single button


Amazon

Just plug it in and enjoy this vibe’s two vibration speeds.

Promising review: “‘Oh my God!’ is the first thing I want to say about this product, and that might be an understatement. Amazing, brilliant product that is so quiet just like its advertised — you just have to control yourself with all the pleasure this bullet gives you. And yes I would tell my friends, family, and anyone else who would ask that this really works. Buy it. No really, buy it, and see for yourself how strong this tiny little purple bullet is.” —juniro

Get it from Amazon for $11.12+ (available in two colors).

12.

A Tulip vibrator with two “lips” that wrap around your clit like the best kind of hug, whether alone or wedged between you and your partner.

An egg-shaped vibrator splashing into a pool of water


Amazon

The tulip is made from medical-grade silicone, has 10 patterns and five intensity levels, is 100% waterproof, rechargeable, and lasts for two hours.

Promising review: “This is definitely a great toy. My wife loved it. Very nice, sleek design and quiet enough to use when the kids are next door. Sweet Vibrations carries a lifetime warranty so no worries there. This one is nice and small as well easy to throw in a purse or even a coat pocket. But don’t let the size throw you off. It has plenty of power to do the job. Rechargeable, too.” —murphy

Get it from Amazon for $44.99+ (available in three colors).

13.

An itty-bitty Satisfyer vibe that might just win the award for most inconspicuous sex toy. Is it a tube of lipstick or a one-way ticket to Pleasureville?


Bellesa

This little gadget is made from body-safe silicone, and is waterproof and rechargeable!

Promising review: “This little thing packs a punch! This is only the second vibe I’ve ever gotten and it just shoots above and beyond the first. It’s SO quiet without losing any of the strength. And my husband loves it, too! It’s the first toy he’s gotten to use on me and he loved it! Overall, fantastic product! ❤️” —AB

Get it from Bellesa for $49.


Bellesa

This little gadget is made from body-safe silicone, and is waterproof and rechargeable!

Promising review: “This little thing packs a punch! This is only the second vibe I’ve ever gotten and it just shoots above and beyond the first. It’s SO quiet without losing any of the strength. And my husband loves it, too! It’s the first toy he’s gotten to use on me and he loved it! Overall, fantastic product! ❤️” —AB

Get it from Bellesa for $49.

14.

A remote-controlled vibrating butt plug for some buzz-worthy booty-lovin’ without the actual loud buzzing your housemates have come to know and hate.

A review photo of a hand sitting next to the black putt plug and matching remote control for scale


amazon.com

Made from easy-to-clean silicone, it has six vibrating settings, charges with a magnetic USB, and includes a remote control that works up to 30 feet away.

Promising review: “Is absolutely amazing!! So powerful and quiet at the same time. Soft to touch. Waterproof. They are so many settings and speeds. Can use it all over your body. Looks so luxurious and delivered so quickly. Will highly recommend this product to family and friends.” —Amazon Reviewer

Get it from Amazon for $23.99.

A moment you and your roommates can now hopefully avoid:


NBC

The reviews in this post have been edited for length and clarity.

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CAESAR

THERE IS A TIDE IN THE AFFAIRS OF MEN..
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