We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share their funniest injury stories. A lot of you shared hilarious stories, but some of you shared tales that started out funny before taking a nasty turn.


But we like to share and know that some of you want to read them, so here they are!

WARNING: Seriously, these stories feature pretty graphic descriptions of accidental bodily harm. If you’re sensitive to that kind of thing, turn around now, I mean it!


The Slashing Straw


“I was sitting at a fast food restaurant with my family, and we had all finished eating. All that was left on the table were a couple drink cups, mine included.

I’m not 100% sure what was said, but my sister made me laugh so hard I threw my head forward and managed to SLASH MY FOREHEAD OPEN ON THE PLASTIC STRAW…like, to the point where I drew blood and you could see little scrapes of skin in the straw. It wasn’t deep enough to require stitches (thank gawd), but it was definitely bad enough that makeup couldn’t cover it up.”



The Tickled Tripper

“My friend’s sister tried to tickle me, so I stepped backwards, tripping and falling into an open dishwasher. There was a butcher knife in the silverware tray, pointed up. It went about 6 inches into my butt and had to be surgically removed.”



The Slippery Slicer

“I once tried to cut a watermelon…with a steak knife. The knife slipped and I cut off the tip of my finger. It was also on April Fool’s Day, so when my mum called my dad to let him know we were on our way to the emergency room, he didn’t believe her.”



The Lacerating Lizard


“I lived in Okinawa, Japan for five years, where geckos run rampant and I’m terribly terrified of them. I was cleaning my kitchen and just so happened to pick up a brand new knife in my right hand when a gecko ran up my left arm. I (forgetting about this brand new, fresh knife in my hand) tried to whack it off of my arm and ended up lacerating my left forearm. The skin pulled back about 6 inches and the cut was about 1.5 inches deep — 26 stitches later, I’ve regained all feeling in my arm.”



The Battered Baker

“I work in a bakery and once almost dropped my oven mitts. In an attempt to catch them with both hands, I managed to bend a nail, partially ripping the skin underneath, and punched myself in the balls — and EVERYBODY saw me do it.”



The Christmas Crisis

“When I was about 6 or 7, we were decorating the Christmas tree and my mother stepped on a loose ornament cap. The hooks went into her heel and spread out so no matter how hard we tried we couldn’t remove it. She had to go to the emergency room and the doctors ended up having to cut a larger incision to get it out of her foot.”



The Tripped-Up Traveler


“I got really excited about traveling in the trunk of my friend’s car after a night out. Running to the car, I slipped on gravel, and ripped my fingernail right off. Sobered up pretty damn quickly.”



The Fragmented Finger

kaitlincoopers / Via buzzfeed.com

“When I was a toddler, I had a toy chest that had a broken safety hinge, so it didn’t close slowly like it was supposed to. One time, I accidentally slammed the lid down on my hand and amputated the tip of my ring finger. It’s not super noticeable to most people because I still have a finger nail and stuff, but it did take probably one-third of that last section. I had surgery on it when I was 5 to make it look better, but the tip is still shaped a little odd and the nail grows crooked.”



The Hazardous Helper

“When I was 6 or 7, I thought I’d try and be helpful by putting the dirty dishes in the sink. Anywho, I was a short child, shorter than the kitchen counter. I was happily grabbing cups and putting them in the sink, when I grabbed the kettle instead and poured scalding hot water all over myself. I had my hand bandaged up for about six months.”



The Scarred Student


“When I was in high school, I was waiting for my bus after school when a friend brought over a balloon for us to mess around with while we waited. At one point, she hit it over to me (in a joking, playful way) but it was aimed at my face and for some reason I panicked and went to swat it away, but my hand was too close to my face and my thumbnail ended up taking out a chunk of my cheek. It bled really bad, took a full month to heal, and I ended up having that scar for years.”



The Slashed Shaver

“I was once shaving my legs in the shower, standing one leg with the other leg propped on the edge of the tub. I still don’t understand exactly how I did this, but I somehow slipped, and as I went to regain my balance the VERY sharp razor blade slashed my nipple. Very painful, very bloody freak accident.”



The Pained Passenger

addib2 / Via buzzfeed.com

“I was early for my train, so I got myself a cup of tea to pass the time. I started to go up the stairs to reach my platform, but missed the first step and fell, hitting my knee on the first step. I was so embarrassed that I’d spilt my tea that I just continued to climb the stairs, crossing the bridge to my platform. As I was getting on the train, I looked down to see blood gushing through my (unripped) jeans at my knee. I needed six stitches and it took over three months to heal as it was right on the knee joint.”



The Battered Baker, Part II

“I was about 14 and making cakes with an electric whisk when I suddenly thought, ‘I wonder if I can switch this on whilst holding the blades still! A test of hand strength vs. appliance strength!’ I switched it on and all was well, so I turned up the power. I instantly realized what a bad idea this was as the blades drew my thumb in at full speed, and took most of the skin off the front. It was incredibly painful and I still have the scars. Also, my dad was really angry because I broke his whisk!”



The Hot Hurt Hand

“I wanted to see if the water was still hot in a hot water bottle, so I stuck my finger inside. I did not find out if the water was still hot, but I did find out that it’s easier to put your finger in than get it out. In trying to get my finger out of the bottle, I took the skin off, knuckle to knuckle.”



And The Unfortunate Foot Fracturer


“Four years ago, I walked over a patch of grass to save five seconds in getting to my apartment. As I stepped on the grass, I slipped and dislocated my ankle, but I didn’t realize this so I tried to recover from the slip and put all of my weight on my dislocated ankle, which caused my foot to go 180 degrees backwards. My surgeon said that I internally amputated my foot, which took three surgeries, four months of casts, and a crap load of physio to fix! I can finally look back and laugh about how I fucked myself so badly to save five seconds.”


Phew. Congratulations for getting through that.

Entries have been edited for length or clarity.


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