I know that at different levels of maturity, there are things one is not expected to cry over..But there are times when it gets too much to hold,and the heart lets it go .
There is one incident I won’t forget in a hurry..15th may,2016!
Mama was the one who raised me like a mother hen raises her chicks.
When I got into the university, I got “weaned” and it took time for that to settle. I visited on most weekends, and each time her face would light up with a smile that kinda refreshes the soul.She would ask them to make food ready,and when going back, she’d stuff me with more than I could carry of provisions.
This continued.. till my second-to-final year.When I went for Industrial attachment at the commercial city Before this time ,she’d occasionally have some instabilities in her health(already 96+) which would settle almost immediately, with medical treatment, which was always available 24/7.
This time around, she got sick,and had to be hospitalized for days.She began to recover and was promptly discharged.
On 14th may,2016,I visited my aunt and we both discussed about mama’s health issues and planned to travel to see her the next day.
The next day being Sunday, I woke up feeling so heavy in my mind.I played “Amarantine” by Enya to sooth my heavy state of mind.I got ready and dressed to go.
My arrangement with my aunt was that she’d call me when she’s set so I’d come over and we go together. When I waited and got no call, I called my uncle,her husband,who assured me that i’d hear from my aunt soon. After waiting for some time, I set out on my way to her place. Close to the express,I thought to call her and find out.
An unusually moody-voiced aunty answered me.
“Mama is no more!!” Was her response to my complaint about not being able to reach her.
“Please..please tell me it’s a lie!”
“I’ve been there since morning,I didn’t even meet her alive.. I barely got to the gate when she passed away..”
An earthshaking scream tore it’s way out of my mouth. I broke down and wept like a baby. I had to go back to the house and inform my brother, and get ready to travel home immediately. I wept all the way.
When I got to the gate and opened, my brother was outside and doing some laundry. He made to ask why I came back, but was silenced by the hot tears streaming down my cheeks.
I looked at him..and lost it. It is now for me to break the news. I opened my mouth,but no words came forth. I was choking. I raised both hands to the sky and dropped to my knees,just as a deep moan rolled out of the depth of my being. He just stood watching me as I convulsed in spasms of tears.Apparently,this was the first time since he knew me,that I broke down and wept aloud.He’d never seen me so deeply agitated.
I had myself a good cry. I understood then,what the Bible meant when it said “..and Saul raised his voice and wept..” and “..and Joseph wept aloud..so that his cry was heard in the house of Pharaoh..”
When I had released some part of my pain and my tears, I broke the news..
On the way home, I wept in the car all along the way. It can’t be true! Mama didn’t seem like someone who would ever die.She was so good.. to human perfection.
As we stopped outside the gate and entered,I got convinced that mama was actually gone.Many cars were parked outside, and people were seated outside in groups.
My body shook violently! I screamed again and wept aloud.As I got to the people, I wept so sadly and deeply ,some tried to calm me down,while few others broke into sobs.
Then I went to meet mummy..and I lost it completely. Mummy shook her head when she saw me. Signs of tears were still there on her cheeks. I went to her.She caught me in her arms..and I became a baby once again. She stroked my hair and whispered words of consolation in my ears.
The power of a man lies in the strength of his arms,but a woman’s softness renders it all powerless.
At the soft spoken words,and comforting fingers that stroked my hair,my heart began to warm.I looked into the face that said “it’s OK my dear..,it’s alright..” and I let myself believe. And I let her wipe my tears.
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