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Hey! While we’re doing our best to make sure the products we feature will arrive in time for Christmas, shipping times are especially tricky this year and can vary depending on where you live, which product you purchase, and more. Shop early and be sure to double check the retailers’ websites for shipping information to ensure that your gift will arrive in time for the 25th!

1.

A Rose family-printed phone case to protect their most precious device. Otherwise, how would they call Stavros to come get them in his jet?

The white, green, red, yellow, and pink phone case printed with the faces of Johnny, Moira, David, and Alexis


TheRedSwanGiftShop/Etsy

Promising review: “Oh my gosh! This phone case is the real deal. Fits perfectly, super high quality protection, with beautiful artwork. I love this so much!” —Lora Vatalaro

Get it from TheRedSwanGiftShop on Etsy for $21.06+ (available for nine different iPhone models).

2.

A “Love that journey for me” keyring they can carry with them on all their journeys, even if it’s just to pick up some soap at Rose Apothecary or get a smoothie from Twyla (be careful).

The silver keyring with a round engraved charm


Amazon

Promising review: “This keychain is solid and the engraving is nice, so I think it’ll last for a while! It came in a nice little bag for great presentation as a gift.” —Kathi M.

Get it from Amazon for $14.89.

3.

A truly amazing apron to remind them of the most important step in making their family’s famous enchilada recipe.


Abby Corcoran, GoodCrafternoonCo/Etsy

I got this for my BFF (on the left) for her birthday, and she adores it! She tells me she especially loves the big pockets.

Get it from GoodCrafternoonCo on Etsy for $24.99 (available with or without “Ew, David” on the pocket and in 10 colors).


Abby Corcoran, GoodCrafternoonCo/Etsy

I got this for my BFF (on the left) for her birthday, and she adores it! She tells me she especially loves the big pockets.

Get it from GoodCrafternoonCo on Etsy for $24.99 (available with or without “Ew, David” on the pocket and in 10 colors).

4.

Or an equally adorable sticker offering the same ~cheesy~ advice.

The sticker that reads "Fold in the cheese" with a drawing of cheese


Amazon Handmade

Promising review: “Next step is to fold in the cheese. What does that mean? What does ‘fold in the cheese’ mean? You fold it in. I understand that, but how? How do you fold it? Do you fold it in half, like a piece of paper, and drop it in the pot, or, what do you do? David, I cannot show you everything. Okay, well, can you show me one thing?! You just…here’s what you do: You just fold it in. Okay, I don’t know how to fold broken cheese like that! Then I don’t know how to be any clearer! You take that thing that’s in your hand, Uh huh? And you….If you say ‘fold in’ one more time….It says, fold it in! This is your recipe! You fold in the cheese, then! Don’t you dare! You fold it in! David!” —Laura

Get it from Amazon Handmade for $2.99.

5.

A romantic stamped cuff bracelet that’d be a perfect gift for your S.O., especially your butter-voiced beau.

Two silver cuffs stamped with hearts and the phrase "simply the best", one of which also has a date stamped on the inside


AMEvangelista/Etsy

Get it from AMEvangelista on Etsy for $20 (available in 22 font styles and with an optional personalized engraving on the back).

6.

A high-fashion David Rose sweater pin for anyone who understands David’s clothes a little better than Patrick’s parents do.

The pins shaped like David's lighting bolt sweater, "Radical feminist" sweatshirt, star-print polo, and red, black, and white star sweater


TheColorfulGeek/Etsy

The Colorful Geek (you can also check out the brand’s full website) is an awesome woman-owned merch brand! I always make sure to stop by Elena’s booth at conventions (I miss conventions!) for stylish and quality tees and accessories from several of my fave fandoms.

Get one pin for $10 or all four for $32, both from TheColorfulGeek on Etsy.

7.

The Funko Pop! figure of their fave character they’ve literally wanted since they first watched the pilot.


Amazon

Pssst…when you order the David one, you’re most likely to get the classic David shown above, but you’ve got about a one in six chance of getting the “chase” edition of David from the season 2 premiere in his iconic Helmut Lang mohawk hoodie.

Get Moira for $8.99 and David for $16.99, both from Amazon, and get the rest of the fam here.


Amazon

Pssst…when you order the David one, you’re most likely to get the classic David shown above, but you’ve got about a one in six chance of getting the “chase” edition of David from the season 2 premiere in his iconic Helmut Lang mohawk hoodie.

Get Moira for $8.99 and David for $16.99, both from Amazon, and get the rest of the fam here.

8.

A stylish Rose Apothecary sweatshirt to help them celebrate an establishment that’s ~simply the best~.

The black sweatshirt with the Rose Apothecary name and logo and motto "Handcrafted with care"


UpTopNorth/Etsy

Promising review: “This is one of the comfiest sweaters I’ve ever owned! The inside is so soft and the quality is so good! It makes me wish that I could wear it every single day! 10/10 would recommend!” —katieziniuk

Get it from UpTopNorth on Etsy for $30.51+ (available in unisex sizes S-2XL and in five colors).

9.

Or an “Ew, David” sweatshirt that should only be gifted to someone who will automatically read it in Alexis’s voice (which is basically anyone who’s seen the show).

The blue pullover sweatshirt with "ew, david" written on it four times in increasingly bold white font


Amazon

Promising review: “The individual whom I gave this to said it fit well and was extremely comfortable. A late Christmas gift that they really enjoyed.” —Josh

Get it from Amazon for $39.99 (available in unisex sizes S-2XL and in five colors).

10.

A David quote mug that is a very big social distancing mood.

The white mug with David's face and black text that reads "I'm trying very hard not to connect with people right now"


Funzees/Etsy

Get it from Funzees on Etsy for $14.99.

11.

A cheeky door mat for anyone looking to send a message to their future guests other than “tweet us on Facebook!”

The brown doormat with "Best wishes warmest regards" written on it in black letters


MuckAndMayhem/Etsy

Get it from MuckAndMayhem on Etsy for $39.90.

12.

A detailed set of coasters that were definitely thought out much more clearly than the ones Johnny tried to have made for the motel. I mean, you can still tweet them on Facebook if you want.

The six coasters, five of which have pictures of a different character (David, Alexis, Johnny, Moira, and Stevie) and several of their best quotes, and one of which reads "Rose Apothecary handcrafted with care simply the best" with the store logo


Amazon Handmade

Promising review: “These coasters are absolutely beautiful! I love that they are handmade, very impressive. They have all the best Schitt’s Creek quotes on them. Very pleased with them!” —Jenna

Get a set of six from Amazon Handmade for $30.

13.

A vinyl sticker commemorating the two greatest insults ever spoken.

The sticker, with a silhouette of David's face and the words "Eat glass!" and a silhouette of Alexis's face and the words "Lick rust!"


MolPal/Etsy

Get it from MolPal on Etsy for $3.50.

14.

Or a sassy magnet to express the same sentiment to their roommate headed to the fridge to steal their leftovers.

A hand holding a rectangular magnet featuring a portrait of David and the words "Eat glass"


TheRedSwanGiftShop/Etsy

Get it from TheRedSwanGiftShop on Etsy for $7.95 (also available as a button).

15.

A cozy Rose Apothecary throw blanket that deserves to be displayed in the front of the store, right next to the plungers.

The black fringed blanket with the Rose Apothecary logo that reads "Rose Apothecary Handcrafted with care"


Schitt’s Creek

Get it from the Schitt’s Creek shop for $64 (originally $80).

16.

An initial necklace just like Alexis has, befitting any Lamborghini/Hollywood Star.

The gold oversized initial necklaces in A, B, and C


Anthropologie

Promising review: “A little bit Alexis. Simple and beautiful necklace! Part of me wishes my name started with an A so I can match with Alexis, but the J is lovely too!” —julianthro

Get it from Anthropologie for $38 (available in 26 letters).

17.

A pair of squee-worthy David and Patrick stud earrings for anyone who fully ugly cried through the whole wedding.

The stud earrings of David and Patrick's faces


Sona Studio

Get them from Sona Studio for $10.

18.

A minimal-chic Rose Apothecary soy candle available in the scent of your choice, but no matter which you choose, it will smell about as flammable as drunk Stevie.

The jar candle with a label that reads "Rose Apothecary one of a kind"


CandECraftCo/Etsy

Get it from CandECraftCo on Etsy for $15.99+ (available in two sizes and 13 scents).

19.

A Moira Rose for town council pin for anyone who’s ready to participate in a slightlyyyyy less stressful election (not to minimize the drama of “stolen” lawn signs, of course).

The rectangular black and white pin that reads "Elect Moira Rose Town Council"


TheColorfulGeek/Etsy

Get it from TheColorfulGeek on Etsy for $10.

20.

A genuinely incredible The Crows Have Eyes 3: The Crowening T-shirt to gift to your brave friend who survived the harrowing premiere of the instant horror classic.

The black and red short sleeve tee with a poster for the movie featuring crows, an Interflix logo, and Moira Rose's name


Amazon

Get it from Amazon for $13.25 (available in men’s sizes M-XL).

21.

A LOL-worthy wineglass that’ll be a huge mood when you reach for a bottle of Herb Ertlinger’s finest.

The stemless glass that reads "This wine is aw-ful get me another glass"


KillerConceptsKC/Etsy

Get it from KillerConceptsKC on Etsy for $12 (available in 16 font colors).

22.

A fun tote bag even more awesome than the ones they give out at Rose Apothecary, because it’s covered with delightful quotes and artwork references from every season of the show.

The white tote featuring quotes like "David, the pedals make it move," "It's my turn to take a selfish," and "Eat glass" and graphics like a slice of cheese, a pride flag, and a pelican


Amazon

Promising review: “I loved the way it looked and the fabric. I cannot tell more, as my daughter spied it and informed me I was not getting it back. I’ll have to order another one. Truly, HUGE Schitt’s Creek fan!” —Kathryn S.

Get it from Amazon for $24.99.

23.

A useful Rosebud Motel notepad they can use to draft to-do lists for Roland, take messages for Ted’s clinic, and jot down all their meetings etcetera.

The notepad, with the Rosebud Motel log at the top and subheading "Elmdale County Schitt's Creek roadside lodging." At the bottom it reads "Manager Johnny Rose, Proprietor Stevie Budd"


Amazon

Get it from Amazon for $8.

24.

An enamel pin featuring one of the greatest lines in television history (yes, even better than anything ever said on Sunrise Bay).

The pin of Moira's face and the words "Stop acting like a disgruntled pelican"


twistedEGOS/Etsy

Get it from twistedEGOS on Etsy for $12.

25.

A colorful “I am positively bedeviled with meetings etcetera” sticker they can pop on their computer to let people know that their to-do list couldn’t possibly take any Moira-dditions.

The sticker with the quote over a multicolor watercolor background


PopWaterStudio/Etsy

Get it from PopWaterStudio on Etsy for $4 (also available as a magnet).

26.

A pair of David Rose-worthy round sunglasses that would pair perfectly with any number of black and white sweaters or a Café Tropical baseball tee.


Amazon

Promising review: “Ew, David! We love these! Big hit as a gift for a Schitt’s Creek fan! Good quality as well!” —Michael

Get them from Amazon for $9.99 (available in two lens colors).


Amazon

Promising review: “Ew, David! We love these! Big hit as a gift for a Schitt’s Creek fan! Good quality as well!” —Michael

Get them from Amazon for $9.99 (available in two lens colors).

27.

A set of favorite quote pencils any student in Jocelyn’s classroom or at Elmdale college (or pretty much anywhere else) will be able to put to good use.

A set of black and gold embossed pencils that read "Ew, David," "Eat glass," "Fold in the cheese," "Follow us on Tweeters," and "I'm sorry I'm not a condom"


BlackSwallowStudio/Etsy

Get a set of five from BlackSwallowStudio on Etsy for $8.

28.

An empowering sticker emblazoned with another one of my favorite lines in the entire show, for anyone who has ever suffered heartbreak at the hands of Sebastien Raine.

A sticker featuring the quote written on a pretzel


Redbubble

It reads, “I will not feel shame about the mall pretzels.” Same David, same.

Get it from The-Goods on Redbubble for $3.95+ (available in four sizes and three finishes).

29.

A chic onesie for any bébé who wishes Moira could be their godmother (ummm…does it come in grown-up sizes?).

Black and white onesies that read "the bebe"


lattesandcastles/Etsy

Promising review: “Adorable! Looks just like the picture and the bébé loves it, too!” —Courtney Kenyon

Get it from lattesandcastles on Etsy for $16.49 (available in sizes newborn-24 months and in three colors).

30.

A chic art board print honoring an acclaimed actress and the last four digits of her husband’s credit card.

The small black print with a white rose and white text that reads "The Moira's Rose's Garden 4856"


Redbubble

Get it from VonBraun on Redbubble for $11.57.

31.

A fun set of sticker sheets with several of the show’s best quotes in illustrated form. They should go ahead and decorate everything in their life with them so everyone will know their taste is as good as David’s (though that may result in them getting dragged on some unwanted trips to the Blouse Barn).

Sheets of stickers including a wine bottle that reads "I like the wine, not the label," a sign with "My best to Bob Cratchit," and "It's my turn to take a selfish" surrounded by flowers


Amazon Handmade

Get two sheets from Amazon Handmade for $5.95+ (available in regular or waterproof).

32.

A fabulous graphic tee paying homage to the best critically reviewed reality show of all time that’ll remind you hide both your diamonds AND your exes.

The pink tee with Alexis's face and the text "A little bit Alexis"


PinkTreePrintCo/Etsy

I ordered this early on in quarantine as a cute work from home shirt, and it’s thick and cute and great quality! If you’re between sizes, I would order a size up to be extra comfy.

Get it from PinkTreePrintCo on Etsy for $23.99+ (available in unisex sizes XS-2XL and in seven colors and also on a tank top). Get the same design on a mug here.

33.

A stamped “Ew, David” necklace that’s delicate enough for them to wear it as an everyday homage to their favorite show.

A reviewer wearing the gold rectangular pendant necklace stamped with "Ew, David" layered with another necklace


amazon.com

Promising review: “So cute! The plate is as heavy as you’d like it to be to stay centered. I’ve gotten lots of compliments!” —Amazon Customer

Get it from Amazon Handmade for $28.

34.

Or an “Ew, David” dad cap for anyone whose dad is the successful founder of Rose Video.

A faded black hat with a black, white, and orange design showing David giving side eye and the text "Ew, David"


Amazon

Promising review: “This is a really high quality hat. It was such a low price point I really wasn’t expecting much, but it’s very sturdy. It’s kind of like a black denim color (more on the light to faded type denim). The decal is very detailed and you can see David’s expression really well. Schitt’s Creek is a great show and it has kept me sane (or as sane as I can be anyway), during the pandemic. This hat is very cool!” —Spenser2

Get it from Amazon for $12.99 (available in 18 designs).

35.

A punny “Funds n’ Roses” scented candle with notes of fruit wines, fitness cults, and milk money to help them cultivate an entrepreneurial spirit that Johnny and Ronnie alike would support.

The white candle in a ceramic cup illustrated with themed doodles, including a silhouette of Johnny


Binge Scents

The fruity vegan candle has an over 80-hour burn time, and when it’s done they can use the cute ceramic container for whatever they want! It’s from an adorable small business devoted entirely to TV show-themed candles.

Get it from Binge Scents for $38.

36.

And an iconic Schitt’s Creek town sign canvas print featuring the Rose family that’s perfect for anyone who missed this sweet last shot of the finale because their eyes were too puffy from crying, which…understandable.


MariaDesignsShopArt/Etsy

Get it from MariaDesignsShopArt on Etsy for $39+ (available in two sizes and four background colors).


MariaDesignsShopArt/Etsy

Get it from MariaDesignsShopArt on Etsy for $39+ (available in two sizes and four background colors).

When someone says there’s such a thing as too many Schitt’s-related prezzies:


PopTV

The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.



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