I really do not know what news to expect when I wake up anymore. But at least this morning, Twitter delivered with some “news” I had been waiting quite some time for: that Barbie has a girlfriend.
Twitter: @cassismoonlight
In case you’re confused, here’s how we got here: Barbie started trending on Twitter after a photo of her with another female doll wearing “Love Wins” shirts resurfaced. And…people were pretty excited.
Twitter: @ElieNYC
But, unfortunately, we gotta get the facts straight (lol) here: the source of the photo is actually a 2017 collaboration with fashion blogger Aimee Song, and appears to paint Barbie as an ally rather than a member of the LGBTQ community.
View this photo on Instagram
@barbiestyle / instagram.com
The left doll is a version of Aimee, and the dolls are wearing miniature versions of “Love Wins” shirts Aimee was selling for charity. When asked about Barrbie’s sexuality, Mattel told The Guardian that Barbie’s an “inclusive brand that celebrates diversity, kindness and acceptance.”
That’s right. An “ally.”
New Line Cinema
But you know what? It doesn’t matter. Because if you’ve seen even a single Barbie film, you know the truth.
…but most sapphic of all, of course, is the legendary piece of queer cinema Barbie and the Diamond Castle.
In the movie, Alexa and Lianna are “besties” who live together in a tiny cottage, sleeping IN THE SAME ROOM. They spend their days tending their beautiful garden and singing to each other about their “connection.”
Universal Studios Home Entertainment
Listen, this is a sapphic fantasy and you know it.
If “Two Voices, One Song” isn’t talking about a relationship, then I no longer know what a relationship is.
Universal Studios Home Entertainment
Those loving looks…
“BUT THEY DON’T KISS AND THEY HAVE BOYFRIENDS!!,” you say.
Universal Studios Home Entertainment
First of all, kissing in Barbie movies is super rare. They certainly don’t kiss their “boyfriends” in this one. And secondly, whatever, they meet a couple of attractive brunette boys. Do they LIVE with those boys?!? Do they sleep in the same room with those boys? Do they even sing love songs with those boys? NO! Listen, it’s 2021. We don’t have time or energy for heteronormative assumptions! They also return to their garden at the end without the boys, riding away in a diamond carriage.
I mean, just WATCH this scene. I don’t sing love ballads with my besties.
Universal Studios Home Entertainment
Listen, we don’t need to worry about Ken. Ken’s fine. It is time for Ken to follow Barbie’s lead and live his best life.
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