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I love Tumblr (yes, even still in the year of our lord 2021) because it’s a wonderful place for people to say delightfully stupid things.


CollegeHumor

^Accurate depiction of me sending stupid Tumblr memes to my friends.

“What about Twitter?” I hear you say. Well, you can find ridiculous posts there too, but there’s also a lot of negative stuff and hate. So, for you, our readers, I dove into the troves of Tumblr to find some ridiculously stupid ideas I just love.


CMT

Here are a mere 21 I believe we should implement immediately.

1.

Pretending to be a ghost:

story about this guy who was playing in the woods by a creek with his friend when a "guy in full late 1800s formal clothing including a top hat just walked out of the forest, said 'Hello boys!' and kept walking...The ultimate prank."


froody / Tumblr / Via rockboci.tumblr.com

2.

A new, more musical, version of Chopped:

"Chopped but every time someone is eliminated the judges sing an Oompa-Loompa style song about what they did wrong"


jonbutter / Tumblr / Via papercorvids.tumblr.com

3.

Harry Potter but with transition lenses for Harry:

"a harry potter au where everything is exactly the same except harry’s glasses have transition lenses" then a photo of Harry with transition lenses


previouslysane-archive / Tumblr / Via getinformaation.tumblr.com

4.

A cleverly named TV show:

"a tv show about ruining hot dads emotionally, mentally and physically called 'breaking dad'"


repllicunt / Tumblr / Via sorrydearie.tumblr.com

5.

A new version of The Hunger Games:

"a book where katniss everdeen imitates everything that jay-z does...mocking jay"


warnpert / Tumblr / Via amyraudenfelds.tumblr.com

6.

This cruel yet hilarious prank:

"how fucked up would it be if an astronaut was coming back to earth and everybody hid for a bit"

7.

A Catholic superhero team:

"Marvel please accept my pitch for Pope Force, a superhero team comprised of catholic superheroes (Nightcrawler, Gambit, Captain America, Daredevil, Domino, Venom, Firebird, Siryn) who take missions directly from the Pope"


dotofficial / Tumblr / Via gallusrostromegalus.tumblr.com

8.

A new holiday:

"February shouldn’t be 28 days, 29 on a leap year. Instead, we should take the 31st days off two months and give them to February, making it have 30 days for all years. But wait, when’s the leap day, you ask? October 32nd, Halloween: Part II."


catsnuggler / Tumblr / Via sleep–walk.tumblr.com

9.

Being buried in style:

"when i die i want to be buried wearing a pair of sunglasses so that a few decades down the line i will also be a cool skeleton"


internetexplorers / Tumblr / Via treehog.tumblr.com

10.

Remaking Twilight from memory:

"They need to redo twilight by just having the actors go back to the filming locations and try to recreate it from memory" reply: Anna Kendrick couldn’t even remember being in the movie. This is an amazing idea"


carlisle-the-daddy-cullen / Tumblr / Via n-haught.tumblr.com

11.

Transparent dishwashers:

"can they please make a dishwasher with a transparent door? i want to see what’s going on in there"


candygarnet / Tumblr / Via jq37.tumblr.com

12.

A rapping Disney princess:

"I wanna see a really cool Disney princess who can’t sing...And none of the musical numbers feature her because she doesn’t sing. But halfway through the movie, she figures out she can rap like hell"


rubynrags / Tumblr / Via killa-trose.tumblr.com

13.

Getting this amazing tattoo:

"had a dream that I’d gotten a hyperrealistic tattoo of a Band Aid, just so that I could cover it with a real Band Aid. When people would ask what happened, I’d...dramatically rip the Band Aid off to reveal my tattoo of a Band Aid."


roswell-newton-vargas / Via they-yell-speak-up.tumblr.com

14.

Pet sloths with the perfect names:

text saying "I want 6 pet sloths so I can name them after every sin except for sloth" and the caption "today my wife texted me this, and then immediately called me to make sure I got it because it was 'an urgent message'" and someone says "it was"


getlitaesthetic / Tumblr / Via gallusrostromegalus.tumblr.com

15.

A new way of solving conflicts (that might actually already exist):

"what if instead of countries declaring war on each other there was just a big rap battle" reply: "did you mean eurovision?"


augurize / Tumblr / Via averydepressedemu-blog.tumblr.com

16.

Celebrities donating blood:

"more celebrities should donate blood like could you imagine having the blood of meryl streep running through your veins"


shatteredgesglisten / Tumblr / Via shatteredgesglisten.tumblr.com

17.

Putting glowstick “juice” in our bones:

"i think we shoukd have glowstick juice injected in our bones when we’re born so if we break em theres a fun little surprise" response 1: "whats the surprise" response 2: "blood poisoning"


evilkakyoin / Tumblr / Via puck-4-life.tumblr.com

18.

Telling people you have diarrhea to avoid being tickled:

“Are you ticklish” is such a loaded question. If you say no they’ll test it. If you say yes they’ll test it." response: "My 7th grade English teacher told us the proper response to “are you ticklish?” Is “I have diarrhea”


andromedid / Tumblr / Via pinesodaexists.tumblr.com

19.

A story about an Italian vampire:

"I want a story about an Italian vampire. No romance, no action. Just 200 pages of 'What do you mean, I can’t have garlic? Do you know where I’m from?'"


fuckrealityihaveablog / Tumblr / Via fuckrealityihaveablog.tumblr.com

20.

Soul transferring:

"Hermit crab, but it’s a soul that moves to bigger and bigger discarded bodies as it grows" then comments like "they're cute when they're little necromantic mice, they're alarming when they move into your dead neighbor"


curlicuecal / Tumblr / Via seananmcguire.tumblr.com

21.

And finally, having an absolutely epic (yes, I AM stuck in 2012, thanks for asking!) funeral:

"when i die i want my ashes mixed with glitter and packed tightly in a coffin and then they blow up the coffin with explosives so glitter rains down on the guests while blasting thanks for the memories"


fluttertree-42 / Tumblr / Via relentlesspsychobabble.tumblr.com



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