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Gather round, ye children, young and old. Today I’ll spin a tale that will make your blood run cold.


Disney

The tale is that of a yet another unexplainably fucked up character from the catacombs of ’90s Australian television — and it centres on none other than the faceless, demon-spawn doll known as EC, from Lift Off.


ABC

Catch that hand twitching in anticipation of closing around your throat.

EC was a genderless, faceless and, let’s be honest, soulless creature used to represent “Every Child” of Australia.


ABC

And what do I think of that as a concept? Beautiful. Inclusive. Progressive. Years ahead of its time.

But can somebody please explain to me why the doll itself had to be made from the collective fears and nightmares of children around the country?


ABC

Like seriously, is this really a baby? Or is it the reanimated corpse of an Egyptian mummy, here to wreak havoc on the world?

And I’m not the only grown-ass adult who is still haunted by this creature, some 30 years on.


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As well as EC, Lift Off also featured a one-eyed succulent, a magical lift, talking backpacks and a gang of lizards who spied on the main cast — so I guess you could say the doll was on-brand for them.


ABC

But surely there was somebody on set who thought to clean up EC’s perpetually grimy face?


ABC

Honestly, somebody pass me the damn micellar water.


ABC

Honestly, somebody pass me the damn micellar water.

There was even that time when they tried to soften its appearance by giving it a jaunty beret.


ABC

But then it just looked like a crazed, blood-thirsty Frenchman, hiding in the bushes.

So for everyone still haunted by this little slice of terror, I say to you: We stand together. United by our struggle against a common enemy who lives on eternally in our nightmares.


NBC

And to the rest of you, I say good luck getting some sleep tonight.





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