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1.

A rechargeable wireless IPX7-waterproof Satisfyer Pro 2 clit-sucker that uses vacuum=power and pulsations for instant (multiple!) orgasms so mindblowing reviewers cried for joy.

A reviewer holds the product in their hand, shown from a few angles


amazon.com

IPX7 is one of the higher water-resistance levels, FYI. It means you can keep it under about three feet of water for a half-hour without issue. So, y’know… it’s certified safe for a little bath-time fun!

Promising review: “Probably the first time I have ever read instructions on a sex toy. But I swear to all that is holy I finished two, TWO, back to back O’s in under 20 minutes. Which for me is a miracle. Then went on to a third through some creative positioning. I think I might still be a little lightheaded. I cried and then decided to write this review. For anyone who is out there suffering and has tried it all please buy this. I know it’s changed my life in one night.” —Samantha Cole

Get it from Amazon for $47.98.

2.

A discreet, quiet, wearable remote-control vibrator that reviewers gush over (and as a result of) because it’s remarkably powerful for something you can barely hear, and the silky-smooth silicone rubs folks in just the right way.

A reviewer demonstrates that they've snuck the product out in their purse, the implication being they're gonna get up to some public play later


amazon.com

Promising review: “I bought this product as a surprise gift for my parther as we had talked about using a toy that I could control remotely and would allow us to indulge in some private fun outside the house. We practiced with it in our lounge one evening. As other reviewers have said, the toy itself was fantastic and after slipping it inside a pair of their own unders, my partner was soon on the way to a very intense and satisfying orgasm whilst I controlled the vibrations with the remote. The device is very discreet and quiet enough to be used in a public place without anyone realizing what is going on. Our experiment at home has given us the confidence to take it outside the house — something we are very much looking forward to.” —Greg

Get it from Amazon for $25.95.

3.

A set of Kegel balls reviewers say go to work right away strengthening your pelvic floor to introduce yourself to whole new levels of pleasure and sensation. And this set is available in different sizes, so there’s probably one just right for you, wherever you’re at.

The beads in pink and blue


Amazon

FYI — Kegel exercise is a way of repeatedly contracting and relaxing the muscles that form part of the pelvic floor, to help strengthen the muscles. Many people enjoy using those muscles while being penetrated vaginally. You don’t need Kegel balls to do Kegels, but many reviewers find it easier to Kegel with Kegel products! Check out this article about what Kegels do to learn more.

Promising review: “I thought buying these would be fun and interesting, but it’s gone waaaaay beyond that now. After just a few days, I noticed a difference in feeling and sensation. I’ve been wearing them for about a month now, and it feels like all these long-dormant nerves have come alive for the very first time. I’m much more sensitive, and sensations are more pleasurable. I started doing ‘homework,’ where I would orgasm with them in every night after wearing them for a few hours. This was AWESOME. Each day it was stronger, lasted longer, and felt different. I have aftershocks that last for an hour. The whole vagina is much stronger, too, and can bear down/grasp like I never knew a vagina could. Like, snap-things-off strong (things: beware!). These are also teaching my body to squirt regularly during orgasm and I have only done that three times in my whole life, though I’ve tried to make it happen for years and years. It’s happened once so far since I first got them, and I can tell it will become more frequent (which is something I was hoping to achieve with this purchase).” —Amazon customer

Get it from Amazon for $42.99+ (available in three versions).

4.

And! An app-connected Kegel trainer reviewers who don’t like Kegel balls say really works by motivating you with with tips to improve your pelvic floor-strengthening technique.

The teal Kegel exerciser


Free People

You insert it like a tampon, and the the app gives you visuals, guides, and real-time technique corrections.

It’s covered in medical-grade silicone and comes with a carrying case that’s also a charger.

Promising review: “I love my Elvie. I’ve had it for two weeks now and the Elvie truly motivates me to strengthen on a daily basis. I’ve tried other methods of strengthening but did not like the experience. But with this, I have already experienced positive results. I totally recommend this product to everyone of any age!” —NadiC

Get it from Free People for $199.

5.

A handmade leather harness that I, like the reviewer, swear is *truly* glorious. The craftwork is stunning, the leather is soft and comfy as heck, it’s really easy to adjust and fit just right, the O-ring provides simple but A+ support, and the thing stays in place no matter how hard a pounding it’s being used to deliver. But my favorite part is that the mount is a lot lower than most harnesses and it makes for strong and steady thrusting with easy control to hit just what you want, how you want to, when you want to.

The black leather harness


SheVibe

I’ve tried a lot of different types of harnesses and it can be a little tricky to find one that works without my own genitalia feeling like they’re in the way, which aside from being annoying always ends with me feeling like a dysphoric mess. The toy base with this one lands right over the same spot on myself, which makes for intuitive control. My partner has genitals that are topographically really different from mine, but feels the same way — and the extra precision leads to some pretty phenomenal orgasms, let me tell you.

Promising review:This is an absolutely glorious harness. The price tag can seem a bit high, at least for those of us who don’t generally purchase leather or latex, but it’s absolutely worth it. The construction is rock-solid, as well as the hold on whatever toy is being used. It stays in place, and, according to my girlfriend, is really comfortable when in use. It holds the toy a lot lower than a lot of harnesses, meaning it has a more natural and easier motion for when trying to thrust. Highly recommend!” —Anonymous

Get it from SheVibe for $95 (available in two sizes)

6.

An inexpensive but rock-solid reliable waterproof rechargeable wand vibe reviewers say will give you a whole new reason to sing in the shower.


amazon.com

My darling partner bought this for me off a BuzzFeed post and first time I used it I had the exact same experience as the reviewer (ok, I was 31 at the time, but close enough!). This baby opened a whole new world for me. Honestly, everyone should have one.

Promising review:I am 30 years old and this toy made me squirt for the first time ever! Amazing! If you don’t have one, you need to order it. And I’m a toy snob! Strong vibration, sleek design and even comes with a storage bag.” —Stephanie

Get it from Amazon for $32.95 (available in three colors)

PS — Yes, transfemme folks can squirt, among other things, most of which are explained in this lovely article.



amazon.com

My darling partner bought this for me off a BuzzFeed post and first time I used it I had the exact same experience as the reviewer (ok, I was 31 at the time, but close enough!). This baby opened a whole new world for me. Honestly, everyone should have one.

Promising review:I am 30 years old and this toy made me squirt for the first time ever! Amazing! If you don’t have one, you need to order it. And I’m a toy snob! Strong vibration, sleek design and even comes with a storage bag.” —Stephanie

Get it from Amazon for $32.95 (available in three colors)

PS — Yes, transfemme folks can squirt, among other things, most of which are explained in this lovely article.

7.

A best-selling hand-poured knotted silicone dildo that’s enormous, surprisingly resilient, and easy-to-control for something so squishy a lot of reviewer also admit to using them for stimming.

The dildo in a custom color combination


Neotori

Furry implications aside, the knot at the base of the dildo is great for extra P/G-spot stimulation as well as a kind of pop-and-lock that can be a lot of fun.

Total size: 10.4″, usable length: 8.7″, diameter of the shaft: 2.4″, diameter of the knot: 3″.

Promising review: “What a treasure! I was not expecting such awesomely soft texture with enough rigidity for rough play. And I’m super-happy with the knot as I can position it according to comfort and needed stretch! What a gamechanger!” —Ro and Jay Rose

Get it from Neotori on Etsy for $106 (available in 240 color combinations, with marbled or layered pours).

8.

A flexible G-spot/suction vibe designed by BuzzFeed and Bellesa for collaborative front/back orgasms that’ll redefine your definition of teamwork.


Bellesa

Promising review: “A well-thought-out, well-designed toy! I love that it’s adjustable. On my first go, and after two amazing orgasms, I couldn’t take it anymore and I just had to stop. I thought I might just black-out! Seriously! Then I started laughing. Like, I was legit giddy. I look forward to many more sessions with this bad boy!” —Tracy

Get it from Bellesa Boutique for $69.

9.

An ultra-portable Satisfyer bullet vibe with a cap that’s super easy to toss in your bag, perfect for taking your buzz on the road, especially if your tired of having to explain your Magic Wand to the TSA ~every time~ you go through security. Reviewers say it packs a wallop for something the shape and size of a lipstick.


instagram.com

It’s waterproof, wireless, and USB-chargeable.

Promising review: “Effective, quiet, and sleek! Lots of power in a compact, cute package. A personal favorite (like most of the Satisfyer products I have)! You won’t be disappointed.” —Amazon Customer

Get it from Amazon for $19.98+ (available in two colors).

10.

A set of four hand-woven 100% Tossa jute, three-stranded, Z-twisted ropes, that comes unfinished for all y’all who get particular. Novice and experienced reviewers alike love the product and the seller, who’s both knowledgeable and friendly to interact with.

The set with ropes and blindfold


MyNawashi

There’s a lot of bad sex rope out there. From avoiding frays to preventing burns and irritations, a good rope really can make difference when tying someone up/being tied up. Personally, I find natural fibers both a lot easier to work with and also way more comfortable than synthetics. And since bondage is a complicated art that can be a little intimidating to get started with, buying from someone who can actually answer your questions is always a good idea.

The set also comes with a blindfold.

Promising review:Absolutely beautigul product, ethics, prices, everything! There’s a strong feeling that the producers really know and love what they’re creating. The ropes themselves feel strong and consistent, with a structure that doesn’t fray immediately. Wonderful and perfect for giving me the opportunity to learn. Thank you!” —Lukas Hawthorn

Get it from MyNawashi on Etsy for $20 (available in two diameters).

11.

A six-pack of single-use masturbation sleeves that give a whole new meaning to choking the chicken. They start out palm-sized and stretch to fit your member, at which point you can go to town with or without lube for an explosively good time. Reviewers say they’re a great first toy for folks!

The six-pack of eggs


Amazon

It comes in regular and “hard boiled,” made just for all y’all want to beat it harder without turning your new toy all scrambled.

Promising review: “I bought these for my partner, because they had never used toys before and I thought this would be the easiest thing to see if they liked them or not. They’re kinda rough when they play, so I got them the hard-boiled ones. They tried the first one yesterday and we used it several times that day. They really loved it. They’re extremely happy with these and it’s definitely made our playtime more fun. I really enjoy seeing them so happy and excited and they had really nice orgasms with these.” —Amazon customer

Get it from Amazon for $27.94+ (available in softer and firm textures)

12.

A clear mini-Fleshlight with an extra-tight torqueing skin-textured inside that leaves reviewers writhing in self-induced ecstasy.

The toy and a cross-section


Lovehoney

As someone who tried Fleshlights in the past but found the clunky black DeWalt-aesthetic cases and binarist anatomical imitations cheugy at best, I think it’s awesome this one is just a toy that looks like a toy… and being able to watch the magic unfold inside is a nice bonus!

Promising review: “This has all the benefits of a full-size Fleshlight in a small form-factor, perfect for travelling. Being Fleshlight it exudes quality and the sleeve feels so skin-like. The texture of the sleeve is very good, really intense and with it being a bit smaller it feels much tighter, very much adding to the intensity. It’s also a bit lighter, so easier to handle. Also, the non-orifice opening is a nice feature, and the clear design of the sleeve and case make it visually appealing whilst in use.” —Promega

Get it from Lovehoney for $59.99.

13.

A rose-shaped clit-sucking toy about the size of a credit card that despite the diminutive dimensions is certainly no shrinking violet. Thousands of satisfied reviewers all share stories of soul-shattering orgasms.


amazon.com

Promising review: “THE PICTURE EXPLAINS IT ALL BUT I GOTTA TELL Y’ALL WHAT HAPPENED. I LITERALLY TOOK THIS FOR A JOKE UNTIL I USED IT. Ok, so, I got ready and laid down, to see what the toy was about. I read the instructions, made sure I had it right and I turned it on. The first setting had some vibration, it felt good but I wanted MORE. After about 30 seconds, I turned it to the second setting and in bout 15 seconds I came so much and so hard. Y’all my body froze up, but I was shaking at the same time. I instantly went to sleep.” —Amazon customer

Get it from Amazon for $56.99 (available in two colors).



amazon.com

Promising review: “THE PICTURE EXPLAINS IT ALL BUT I GOTTA TELL Y’ALL WHAT HAPPENED. I LITERALLY TOOK THIS FOR A JOKE UNTIL I USED IT. Ok, so, I got ready and laid down, to see what the toy was about. I read the instructions, made sure I had it right and I turned it on. The first setting had some vibration, it felt good but I wanted MORE. After about 30 seconds, I turned it to the second setting and in bout 15 seconds I came so much and so hard. Y’all my body froze up, but I was shaking at the same time. I instantly went to sleep.” —Amazon customer

Get it from Amazon for $56.99 (available in two colors).

14.

A vibrator designed to hit your ~entire~ clit with a velvety silicone surface and 10 ultra-quiet speeds to give yourself a gushing orgasm where the only whines you have to worry about other people hearing are your own.

A reviewer holds the teal toy


amazon.com

Reviewers also compliment the build quality and packaging.

Promising review: “This amazing toy is absolutely incredible! I am quite simply in love with the color options and the material that it comes in! It’s extremely soft and superb quality. The two little lips are really strong yet AMAZINGLY placed so that the little ball tip can work it’s magic!” —Amazon customer

Get it from Amazon for $44.99 (available in two colors)

15.

A lube launcher because having a good human-baster in your arsenal means you’ll always have a cleaner and much more efficient method than your hands for getting yourself good and ready to take it for hours on end.

A model uses the lube launcher


Amazon

I’m a bit of a size queen when it comes to glass, silicone, and human fists, and I had no idea everything I was missing out on until I upped my slick-sphincter game with this little hydraulic wonder. Since I seem to lose them every few years, I’ve been through several of these, and they’re reliable and also offer excellent control, to avoid having an accidental santorum over-spill. I’m always glad to have it on-hand.

Promising review: “Amazing device! I never expected that a product would make such a difference in improving my ability to enjoy my other toys, but WOW! Very comfortable and easy to control flow of product from device via handle.” —Earl L. Landrum III

Get it from Amazon for $7.99.

16.

A Sliquid water-based lube I use with my favorite penetrative devices and partners when silicone is a no-go. It’s got the best consistency for a water-based lube out there, silky-smooth and viscous without being runny or sticky. Better yet, because it’s activated by your body’s *own* moisture, it only needs a re-up about a third as much comparables from KY, Astroglide, Swiss Navy, or ID. And it comes in has scrummy cherry vanilla or green apple flavors reviewers savor but also say don’t get in the way of the natural taste of whatever slicked-up something you might be sucking on.


Amazon

Don’t get me wrong, I love me a good silicone lube. But a number of my toys and several of my partners are incompatible with silicone. When that happens, Sliquid’s water-based lubes are what I turn to. I’ve been party to dozens of lubes used on myself and others over the years, I swear they’re one’s better than anything else I’ve tried. It’s a little ironic to consider its performance rock-solid in the slickness department, but it definitely is. And my favorite part is I find it only needs to be re-applied after a good long while; usually I’m worn out long before the lube is, which is a compliment to it indeed, because my stamina when it comes to butt stuff is virtually inexhaustible. Also, because I need plenty of lubrication but have a sensory aversion to nonhuman liquids that are sticky/slimy (thanks, autism!), I really appreciate that I don’t have to break my sex sesh and concentration by having to reapply something my body needs but doesn’t like to touch.

It’s 100% DEA-, glycerin-, paraben-, gluten-, sorbitol-, and glycol-free, to the great relief of everyone with those sensitivities. I happen to have a serious gluten intolerance, which as you might imagine is important to stay on top of for both myself and my partners. Anything that gets inside you can make you sick, and also anything that gets on your hands can make its way into, well, any orifice, really. So, attention to detail like these folks offer is definitely appreciated, and I’m glad the company clarifies things on their website instead of leaving it up to me to try and decipher from their ingredients when some, like tocopherol, may or may not be made of wheat, leaving it impossible to discern how risky a product might be. To have an accessible lube on hand is just polite on behalf of anyone involved who might have a sensitivity, and therefore a worthy investment for anyone intent on sexual courtesy.

Promising review:Get this for your love life ASAP. It has so much slip! I have tried all kinds of lube; I would say this is my favorite now!” —Anjelica

Get it from Amazon for $12.99+ (available in two flavors)



Amazon

Don’t get me wrong, I love me a good silicone lube. But a number of my toys and several of my partners are incompatible with silicone. When that happens, Sliquid’s water-based lubes are what I turn to. I’ve been party to dozens of lubes used on myself and others over the years, I swear they’re one’s better than anything else I’ve tried. It’s a little ironic to consider its performance rock-solid in the slickness department, but it definitely is. And my favorite part is I find it only needs to be re-applied after a good long while; usually I’m worn out long before the lube is, which is a compliment to it indeed, because my stamina when it comes to butt stuff is virtually inexhaustible. Also, because I need plenty of lubrication but have a sensory aversion to nonhuman liquids that are sticky/slimy (thanks, autism!), I really appreciate that I don’t have to break my sex sesh and concentration by having to reapply something my body needs but doesn’t like to touch.

It’s 100% DEA-, glycerin-, paraben-, gluten-, sorbitol-, and glycol-free, to the great relief of everyone with those sensitivities. I happen to have a serious gluten intolerance, which as you might imagine is important to stay on top of for both myself and my partners. Anything that gets inside you can make you sick, and also anything that gets on your hands can make its way into, well, any orifice, really. So, attention to detail like these folks offer is definitely appreciated, and I’m glad the company clarifies things on their website instead of leaving it up to me to try and decipher from their ingredients when some, like tocopherol, may or may not be made of wheat, leaving it impossible to discern how risky a product might be. To have an accessible lube on hand is just polite on behalf of anyone involved who might have a sensitivity, and therefore a worthy investment for anyone intent on sexual courtesy.

Promising review:Get this for your love life ASAP. It has so much slip! I have tried all kinds of lube; I would say this is my favorite now!” —Anjelica

Get it from Amazon for $12.99+ (available in two flavors)

17.

A tongue-shaped vibrator about the size of your palm, for discreet Magic Wand-like power that’s pocket-sized and virtually silent.

A reviewer photo of the toy in eggplant color


amazon.com

Promising review: “Love, love love! I usually use a Magic Wand, and bought this to travel, as the Magic Wand is much too big and loud for anything other than home-alone use. This is plenty powerful to get me there. Better yet, it’s nearly silent, so can be used pretty much anywhere! I’ve had other compact vibes before but this one by far wins out in terms of power and quietness. I’ve only used it once thus far, but a few hours’ charging was enough for 30 minutes or so of use. It’s much smaller than I thought, which also ended up being a good thing for my purposes. It’s pretty thin, and only about three inches long. The contour makes it such that you’re holding the part with the buttons a centimeter or so from your pubic bone rather than curving it totally against your body. This makes for pretty comfortable solo use.” —Booklover’84

Get it from Amazon for $38.99.

18.

An orange bullet vibe that’s under four-inches-long and runs for four hours on a single AAA battery. Reviewers rave really packs a punch for something so puny!

A reviewer holds the orange vibrator


Urban Outfitters

It’s covered in food-grade silicone and comes with three speeds and a pulsing mode.

Promising review: “I highly recommend you to get this! It’s small but MIGHTY for sure! Blacked out for a few seconds! Do yourself a favor and get this magnificent creation!” —yourbasicbrowngirl

Get it from Urban Outfitters for $34.

19.

The New York Toy Collective transmasc pump that uses suction to give you a little extra sensation and growth. My partner and I have used it and I promise you: it delivers as advertised and then some!

The pump and box


New York Toy Collective

Promising review: “Takes a little adjusting, but daaamn. Incorporated this into partner play and that extra sensation goes a ~long~ way.” —Peter Skerl

Get it from New York Toy Collective on Etsy for $29.99.

This is sized for folks with anatomy under three inches. Of course, one size does not fit all… or may not fit for long. Want some more options? Check out the deluxe version here. It comes with three different-sized cylinders

20.

A rabbit wand that’s the bestseller on Amazon right now and whose ~good vibrations~ are so addicting reviewers don’t want to put it down. I can see why: this thing’s so powerful, it gives a whole new fun meaning to the phrase “wetting the bed.”

Reviewer holding the vibrator with five star caption "wow wow wow"


amazon.com

Don’t worry, it’s waterproof. 💦

Promising review: “Let’s just say, I got the wettest I’ve ever been in more ways than one. The toy was so amazing that my husband thought I was having an orgy or something! I’ve spent the past several days with this thing and don’t regret a single moment.” —Anonymous

Get it from Amazon for $28.69 (available in two colors)

21.

A small metal butt plug butt-novice reviewers love for making introductory anal play much more accessible for them. And, like all metal butt plugs, it’s temperature-sensitive (try warming it first — yum!) and super-easy to clean.

The metal butt plug with a red heart-shaped stone in the, uh, part that doesn't go in your butt.


Amazon

I’m a big fan of all things butt stuff, and I can tell you metal is definitely the way to go when you’re starting out. They’re simple to work with, and being able to play with temperature gives you a truly titivating venue for sensorial exploration gentler but still just as exciting as stretching, stuffing, and pounding (don’t worry, you’ll get there soon enough!).

Promising review: “Super product! This is my first plug and I’m pretty happy with everything. Extremely comfortable. Really cute. Perfect for beginners! Smooth and easy to put in.” —Jala

Get it from Amazon for $12.26.

22.

An ultra-smooth vibrator that’s really quiet, so you can go to sleep satisfied without waking up any of your housemates (or neighbors if you’re a screamer — no judgment!).

A model holds the purple vibrator


Amazon

It has six different vibration modes and it’s rechargeable!

Promising review: “Wow. This is my first vibrator and all I have to say is wow. As soon as I took it out of the package, I was astounded by the quality. It feels silky smooth. It also comes with an adorable little pouch which is also very soft. There’s several different vibration options as well which is always fun. If it breaks I will actually cry because I love it so much. This is my new best friend. It feels amazing. I love it.” —L

Get it from Amazon for $19.69.

23.

A Jimmyjane vibe with motors in each of its ears reviewers swear gets the job done FAST.


Jimmyjane

The charge lasts 60 minutes and needs about 90 for a refresh (much like yours truly!).

Promising review: “OMG the twin vibrating heads are just right! On high I can get off in about three minutes and it’s an amazing orgasm. I’ll be getting another if it ever breaks.” —Jane

Get it from Jimmyjane for $160 (available in three colors).



Jimmyjane

The charge lasts 60 minutes and needs about 90 for a refresh (much like yours truly!).

Promising review: “OMG the twin vibrating heads are just right! On high I can get off in about three minutes and it’s an amazing orgasm. I’ll be getting another if it ever breaks.” —Jane

Get it from Jimmyjane for $160 (available in three colors).

24.

A ball-stretcher to increase tension, feel more, and go at it stronger, harder, and longer (double entendres all ~definitely~ intended).

The product in black. It's real shiny.


Amazon

It doesn’t actually stretch your balls — and there’s no safe way to do that with a toy. Instead, this little guy does a few things that come close. First, by gripping just above the top of the balls, it pulls back on your skin and reduces blood-outflow, much like the other more common kind of dick-ring. The second use is for training your testes to get longer, so your balls hang lower. As with everything about body-modification, YMMV. I can tell you that there’s plenty of corroborating evidence that, with time, the results will be permanent. And, although I haven’t done this myself, I have had good results with tugging that have lasted over a decade so far without reversing.

There *are* some risks associated with ball-stretching, including surface injuries from pinching, testicular torsion (ouch!), and while there’s no proof, is associated with possible effects on fertility.

If you’re interested in learning more, check out this article!

Promising review: “I really like this ball-stretcher. It feels great when you wear it, and holds your balls firmly and you don’t even feel the stretch. My balls were up high and tight and after a few weeks they are loosening up and are hanging lower. This is my first ball-stretcher and at some point I will purchase a more intense model. It also feels great when your balls swing around. I wear it for long periods during the weekends during daily activities, drives, shopping, etc.” —Twilight

Get it from Amazon for $15.44+ (available in four colors).

25.

A spot-vibrator with a diminutive-yet-punishing set of just-right-sized silicone heads to deliver intensely-focused good vibes wherever you need them. The thin silicone wand at the end is about 2 inches long, the heads are both around 1/4-inch wide, and thankfully the speeds are adjustable because reviewers say full-bore can be a lot to handle just-out-the-gate.

A reviewer holds the purple toy


amazon.com

Promising review:Holy tacos is this toy amazing! I’m honestly a bit speechless. It was delivered today and I tried it out as soon as I opened the package. There are SO many vibration settings, and they are all wonderful. It comes with both the V-shaped cover and a circled silicone cover to go over the little vibrating head. I sat it right on my clit and it did its job. I am currently recovering from the (absolutely incredible) damage that’s it’s done, as I type this. I recommend this toy %10000. BUY IT NOW!” —Tiny Chubbs

Get it from Amazon for $17.99.

26.

An exceptionally well-balanced nine-tail cat with stinging roses at the end, a braided handle, and wrist-strap, to deliver sharp floggings without unnecessary “ouch!” that’re as satisfying to administer as they are to receive.

The product in black/purple and black/red


GoodStuff100

Yes, I have one. You can believe the hype and I’ve got the bruises to prove it.

Promising review: “This thing is HUGE! Way bigger than I was expecting. Master is enjoying it as much as I am, and it packs a heavy punch. Hits hard and heavy with a little sting to it, absolutely wonderful. Will be buying more from this shop!” —Shannon

Get it from GoodStuff100 on Etsy for $29.95 (available in four colors).

27.

A splurgey Lelo remote-control P-spot butt vibe that’s an easy-to-use down-under wonder even well-seasoned prostate-masturbators find surprisingly powerful. It’s waterproof and has two — yes, TWO! — motors: one in the base and one in the tip, for an intense good time.

The toy and remote, in blue, on rocks


Lelo

I’ve been using Lelo insertables for over a decade, and let me tell you: these folks know their way around a prostate.

Promising review:Best prostate massager I have ever used, and I have used many. The remote control is lovely to work with and this little puppy is POWERFUL.” —Sapiosexual Neurons

Get it from Lelo for $219.

28.

A Satisfyer traveler reviewers say offers no-contact clitoral-sucking nirvana in portable, clip-together two-piece package. It charges real fast and can be used underwater for up to a half an hour (not that you’ll last that long!).

A model holds the toy


Amazon

Promising review: “Out of the four Satisfyer models I own, this is my absolute favorite! Of all four models this is the smallest however its just as powerful. It has its own case helping prevent accidental turn-on. I love how easy this is for me to hold, I also like the button placement it’s very easy to change intensity even in use. Due to the tiny size it also works well during penetration as long as you don’t mind holding it during use. The magnetic charging is fairly quick and easy. If you’ve never owned an air pressure stimulator the sensation is divine and feels like a slight suction, with gentle pulsing directing waves to the clitoris. Kind of like intense oral, but not. It’s very hard to describe exactly. Before I bought my first one I can honestly say I had never felt ANYTHING quite like it. The orgasms I experience from this are the deep, throbbing, intense, full-body type of orgasm. For the most part I don’t last too long with this type of simulation, and I can be very hard-to-please.” —Reviews 4 U

Get it from Amazon for $39.95.

Your happy dance after you confirm the strangers on the internet were right, because that was one *fine* orgasm:


Disney

The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.





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