Read Time:27 Minute, 33 Second
An eggplant vibrator sure to encourage you to eat your veggies.
A classy necklace simple enough that no one would ever think is secretly a vibrator. A step up from Tiffany’s jewelry, tbh.
A charming cactus figure that’ll look sharp in your room when not in use.
A pack of Tenga eggs so beating eggs now has a whole new meaning.
A little friend you can throw in your purse and keep on hand whenever you need to reach that big O.
Cherry-shaped kegel balls for a sweet way to exercise your pelvic floor and possibly heighten sensitivity.
A thicc-ass chicken you can easily display on your shelf. No one has to know that you yank its head off so you can get off.
A subtle gold-colored ring sure to look fab on your finger and feel fab…elsewhere.
A nice smelling candle that turns into massage oil when it melts. Love a good multi-tasker!
A cute vibrator that will have you singing “rubber ducky, you’re the one, you make bath time lots of fun.” 😉
A little mushroom butt plug sure to make all your cottagecore dreams come true. You can hide it in your garden and no one would be the wiser. You shouldn’t do that, because hygiene, but YOU COULD!
A UFO-shaped vibe that I want to believe will make you cum.
A little mini vibe that looks just like a tube of lipstick so no one will be the wiser if you want to keep it right on your vanity for easy access.
A glass pepper dildo for spicing things up in the bedroom.
A silicone corn cob sure to deliver some eye-popping results. Best part? It’s heat-sensitive and changes colors!
A rose quartz dildo that can just as easily be a paperweight to keep all your Goop article print-outs together.
Bellesa’s Diskeet Air, which is their most discreet model but don’t worry — it’s also their most powerful suction vibrator. Its clamshell case makes it easy to subtly travel with.
And we can’t forget a fleshlight, one of the original secret sex toys.
Me looking at some of these things:
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