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2.
A classy necklace simple enough that no one would ever think is secretly a vibrator. A step up from Tiffany’s jewelry, tbh.
5.
A pair of minimalist handcuffs that are way less clunky than the usual kind and will lead to way less Gerald’s Game situations.
Unbound
These stretchy, silicone handcuffs are great because you don’t have to worry about knots, locks, or buckles, plus they’re great for bending into different positions.
Get them from Unbound for $18 (available in two colors).
6.
A little friend you can throw in your purse and keep on hand whenever you need to reach that big O.
Urban Outfitters
This little bullet is biodegradable: It’s crafted from a starch-based bioplastic so you can recycle it when you’re done using it. The tip can be used for both external or internal stimulation with a single speed vibration.
Get it from Urban Outfitters for $10 (available in three colors). Get a longer biodegradable vibe from Amazon for $7.99+.
7.
Cherry-shaped kegel balls for a sweet way to exercise your pelvic floor and possibly heighten sensitivity.
8.
A glow-in-the-dark cock ring to prove that turning the lights off during sex can be more exciting.
9.
A thicc-ass chicken you can easily display on your shelf. No one has to know that you yank its head off so you can get off.
Emojibator
This toy is waterproof, silicone, multi-speed, and has USB charging. It vibrates, pulsates, and suctions to simulate oral sex.
Get it from Emojibator for $74.
Emojibator
This toy is waterproof, silicone, multi-speed, and has USB charging. It vibrates, pulsates, and suctions to simulate oral sex.
Get it from Emojibator for $74.
10.
A subtle gold-colored ring sure to look fab on your finger and feel fab…elsewhere.
Unbound
This ring can be silver or electroplated 18k gold.
Promising review: “This is a gorgeous piece of jewelry and it also packs a powerful punch. Both myself and my husband enjoy it. I also feel a sense of empowerment when wearing it.” —D.M.
Get it from Unbound for $99 (available in sizes 5–8 and two finishes).
11.
A nice smelling candle that turns into massage oil when it melts. Love a good multi-tasker!
Lelo
It comes with all natural ingredients with no chemical additives and a clean burning wick for safe and eco-friendly use. The massage oil is said to be non-greasy and absorbs into your skin.
Get it from Lelo for $34.90 (available in three scents).
12.
A cute vibrator that will have you singing “rubber ducky, you’re the one, you make bath time lots of fun.” 😉
I Rub My Duckie
Promising review: “The problem with finding bathtub ‘help’ is that many vibrators are water-resistant, but not waterproof. In other words, they can be good for a shower or unexpected thunderstorm, but aren’t recommended for deep-sea diving. Enter I Rub My Duckie! Hold an actual duck underwater for long periods of time and expect a visit from the ASPCA. And eternal damnation, you sicko. But this ducky totally digs long soaks in the tub. His (or her) permanent smile says: ‘I aim to please! I like it down here, thanks!'” —Anonymous
Get it from Babeland for $37.99.
13.
A little mushroom butt plug sure to make all your cottagecore dreams come true. You can hide it in your garden and no one would be the wiser. You shouldn’t do that, because hygiene, but YOU COULD!
Get it from Spectrum Boutique for $95.
14.
A UFO-shaped vibe that I want to believe will make you cum.
Unbound
*X-Files music plays* This lil space toy is made with waterproof silicone and has magnetic USB charging. The harder you squeeze, the more intense the vibrations.
Get it from Unbound for $69 (lol).
15.
A little mini vibe that looks just like a tube of lipstick so no one will be the wiser if you want to keep it right on your vanity for easy access.
Lovehoney
Promising review: “This may be small but it’s powerful. There’s a lid on both ends, so buttons cannot be pressed by accident while in a bag. Easy to hold and the discreet lipstick shape gets all the right places with little effort. Easy to use during sex or foreplay as it doesn’t get in the way.” —screamingwife
Get it from Lovehoney for $16.99.
16.
A glass pepper dildo for spicing things up in the bedroom.
Adam’s Toy Box
This 8 inch chili pepper is made with shatter resistant glass.
Get it from Adam’s Toy Box for $13.99.
17.
A silicone corn cob sure to deliver some eye-popping results. Best part? It’s heat-sensitive and changes colors!
Get it from Spectrum Boutique for $99.
18.
A rose quartz dildo that can just as easily be a paperweight to keep all your Goop article print-outs together.
VixenCrystals
Get it from VixenCrystals on Etsy for $205.81.
Spectrum Boutique
This open-ended masturbator is wider on one side and then gets tighter the deeper you go.
Get it from Spectrum Boutique for $14.
Spectrum Boutique
This open-ended masturbator is wider on one side and then gets tighter the deeper you go.
Get it from Spectrum Boutique for $14.
20.
Bellesa’s Diskeet Air, which is their most discreet model but don’t worry — it’s also their most powerful suction vibrator. Its clamshell case makes it easy to subtly travel with.
21.
And we can’t forget a fleshlight, one of the original secret sex toys.
Amazon
Using this is sure to be an ~illuminating~ experience. The inside sleeve is made with a soft material with no phtalates. It’s easy to wash — just remove the sleeve from the flashlight case and rinse with warm water and soap.
Get it from Amazon for $69.95 (available in two sizes or a darker skin tone here).
Me looking at some of these things:
NBC
Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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