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1.

This fairly good point:

text from Jesse: "If I was cloned I think I would probably kick my own ass....like idk I was just thinking abt it and I'm like 100% sure I'd kick my ass. I know all my own weaknesses I could fight..."


do9 / Tumblr / Via thebootydiaries.tumblr.com

3.

This father-child rebellion planning:

"My mom told me to stop vaping in the house and my dad just texted me this: 'They are conspiring against us. Vapers. Rule. Stay strong.' Update: 'This is the VAPE LORD. Puff and blow at mom. I am your father"


ursaring / Tumblr / Via zackisontumblr.tumblr.com

4.

This evidence that Miley Stewart was committing identity fraud:

text saying Miley and the other Stewarts are committing identity fraud because Hannah Montana has a driver's license which means she has a social security and proof of address for Hannah who is not a real person


keanurevees / Tumblr / Via oprah-winefreak.tumblr.com

8.

This strange check-in:

"just got a really funny message" and the message is a screenshot of a tweet where someone orders piss at the bar and then the message "hi this reminded me of you I miss you I hope you're safe and doing ok"


greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou / Tumblr / Via kushfather.tumblr.com

10.

This text that I MUST know the story behind:


Twitter: @kristinascotto

11.

This complaint with a qualifier:

text from Greg: "I know I'm a horrible roommate/part of why you can't trust men but it's 5am and you've been playing Mariah Carey for 3 hours and I'm going..."


thisishangingrockcomics / Tumblr / Via thebootydiaries.tumblr.com

12.

This concern over a cat being a cat:


Twitter: @gremuir

15.

This DoorDash driver’s confusion:


Twitter: @decentbirthday

16.

This relatable sentiment:

"Also I got a tiny rubber baby for 95 cents" then a picture of it next to a coin, and a text from Dad saying "this little plastique l'enfants by the computer vexes and haunts me"


horrormavenwescraven / Tumblr / Via smilingformoney.tumblr.com

17.

This example of a dad knowing his child far too well:

text from Dad: "Why the sudden interest in violin?" response: "idk i just want to" Dad: "What anime character plays violin"


devanshe / Tumblr / Via vuelie.tumblr.com

18.

This interesting goodnight message:

text from Mom: "In my life there are no good signs! Only death and destruction! Night night


veryspecific / Tumblr / Via unico2.tumblr.com

19.

This incorrect assumption:

"I don't even know what a Claire's is but from what I've gathered it's a goth cotsco" response: "you couldn't be any more incorrect"


zampl / Tumblr / Via oprah-winefreak.tumblr.com

20.

This parental drama:

21.

And finally, this hilarious drunk message:

text asks person to pick them up because they're drunk, then says they don't have to anymore because they're home — the person replies "yes, I was aware of that after dropping you off at home"


ughjeez / Tumblr / Via officialgoogle.tumblr.com



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CAESAR

THERE IS A TIDE IN THE AFFAIRS OF MEN..
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