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We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share the weirdest things ever said to them during sex. Here are some of those jaw-dropping results.

1.

This “what the cluck?” moment:

“He called me his majestic little chicken! I never did find out why!”

jaxlou1982


DLGNCE / Via media.giphy.com

2.

This Oedipal arrangement:

“Right before he finished, he called me by his mother’s name, then started crying.”

lachlanfox

3.

This revolutionary role-playing:

“During freshman year, my boyfriend and I were getting ~down~ when he suggested we role-play as Vladimir Lenin and Anastasia. He then proceeded to recite biographical facts about Vladimir Lenin in the worst Russian accent I’ve ever heard. Weirdest 90 seconds of my life.”

kimberlyw45c125b46

4.

This paranormal partner:

“He started talking to the ghosts that were apparently watching. He claimed to be like the kid from The Sixth Sense.”

katek479332a0e


Hollywood Pictures / Via media.giphy.com

5.

This self-righteous smart-ass:

“I dated a guy who was very full of himself and had nicknamed his own penis ‘Son of God.’ He used this nickname as a setup so during sex he could say: ‘Are you ready for the second cumming of the Son of God?'”

corellianne

6.

This moment for reflection:

“We were having sex during this quarantine period and he stopped to say, ‘Man, what a year!’ It was so out of place and now it’s become a running joke between us.”

marissan4aed9cfba

7.

This hot take:

“Your vagina is so warm, you could bake bread in there!”

gracew41bb61625


Fox / Via media.giphy.com

8.

This whiner:

“He looked me dead in the eyes and said, ‘You got it from your mama,’ while inside of me. He had never even met my mom. He also made whiny dog sounds the entire time and when I asked what he was doing, he said he was making the sound that dogs make when they want more affection.”

bubbliestbubbles

9.

This garbage human:

“I was having sex with this guy and right in the middle he said, ‘Are you still friends with Lisa, that tall blonde? I wanna fuck her so bad! Call her!’ Needless to say, not only did I not call her, I called ~him~ a few choice things.”

pointyblackhat

10.

This otherworldly choice:

“He used the Yoda voice.”

jessferg1011


Lucasfilm / Via media.giphy.com

11.

This HELL no:

“A guy asked if he could cut me just a little so he could lick the blood. I left rather quickly.”

shayboo

12.

This “hoppy” ending:

“He stopped mid-stroke and said, ‘I’m gonna make like a bunny and bounce,’ then pounded like Thumper. We’re married now.”

tcrunnergirl7

13.

This confusing and concerning revelation:

“While inside me: ‘Just a sec, I need to feed my Tamagotchi.'”

aljr02


NBC / Via media.giphy.com

14.

This weird word choice:

“My ex told me my vagina was ‘frothy.’ I think he wanted to say ‘wet’ in a sexy way and just had no idea what frothy meant.”

a456d9bf01

15.

This asinine accusation:

“After having sex, he told me there was something wrong with my vagina because he’d never seen one like mine.”

lexxie01012019

16.

This terrible timing:

“My husband and I were getting hot and heavy and he stopped to ask, ‘How much credit card debt do you have?’ I was definitely not in the mood anymore.”

elizabethd465c3c4bd


NBC / Via media.giphy.com

17.

This cringeworthy comment:

“I was hooking up with an older guy when I was 18 and he looked at me and said, ‘Those boobs are going to breastfeed some nice babies.’ I’m sorry, what?”

m4c758f702

18.

This idiot who needs a sex ed lesson:

“During sex, I once had an ex accuse me of cheating on him because I felt ‘looser.'”

austins460a11094

19.

This Shakespearian tragedy:

“One guy thought it was sexy to recite his own poetry to me during sex. It was exceptionally bad poetry too, but he was so in love with himself that he was sure he was Shakespeare reincarnated.”

emilypsully


FX / Via media.giphy.com

20.

This random remark:

“Stopped thrusting to remark, ‘I really like your collection of dressing gowns.'”

higgsbosom

21.

This football fan:

“After finishing, he said, ‘The Dallas Cowboys are the greatest goddamn football team.'”

sarahbee_123

22.

This suspicious smell:

“My ex-husband stopped mid-thrust and said ‘My hands smell like onions,’ and then made me smell them.”

kcjessb


NBC / Via media.giphy.com

23.

This not-so-slick comment:

“‘You’re slicker than snot down there.’ I laughed because it was so bizarre. We are still together!”

jjyoung2817

24.

This frantic finale:

“We were almost finished when he yelled, ‘Fuck! I didn’t feed the hamster!’ then finished and immediately fell asleep. He didn’t own a hamster, and he never had.”

goldfishfox

25.

Finally, this colorful coincidence:

“I took off my pants and he said my underwear were his mom’s favorite color. I put my pants back on and left.”

ritad44a8c8d87


Disney / Via media.giphy.com

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and clarity.

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CAESAR

THERE IS A TIDE IN THE AFFAIRS OF MEN..
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